“Haw-w-w-w-w!” That sound can only mean one thing—it’s time to ring out the old year and ring in the new with that Bachelor of Artifice, Knight of Calamity and an alumnus of Doctor Merlin’s Camelot College for Conjurors—Phineas Pinkham. And it’s a festive one—It’s Major Rufus Garrity’s birthday and he’d like to keep it a secret, but it’s impossible to keep a secret from the Boonetown marvel!

It was a big anniversary for Major Garrity, and Phineas Pinkham wanted to wish him a happy birthday. Well, it wasn’t entirely Phineas’ fault that what he wished him was a Scrappy Birthday!

• Download “Scrappy Birthday” (September 1934, Flying Aces)

This month we’re celebrating the talents of that pulp stalwart—Joe Archibald. Archibald wrote hundreds of stories for the pulps, both dramatic and humorous. His bread and butter it would seem was the humorous tale. He had long running series in several pulp titles. In the detective titles there was Alvin Hinkey, the harness bull Hawkshaw, in 10 Story Detective; Scoops & Snooty, the Evening Star’s dizzy duo, in Ten Detective Aces; and the President of the Hawkeye Detective Agency himself—Willie Klump in Popular Detective. While in the aviation titles he had the pride of Booneville—Phineas Pinkham in Flying Aces; and the one-two punch of Ambrose Hooley & Muley Spinks in The Lone Eagle, The American Eagle, Sky Fighters and War Birds!; and Elmer Hubbard and Pokey Cook in Sky Birds!

Joe Archibald also supplied illustrations for his Elmer Hubbard stories
as he was doing with the Phineas Pinkham howls in Flying Aces.

Archibald wrote the Elmer Hubbard stories as if they were letters Elmer was writing home to his friend Pete back in Rumford Junction, Maine. In these Billy Doos he tells Pete all about his adventures as a Second Lieutenant in the U.S. Air Corpse—the hi-jinx he gets up to with his buddy Pokey Cook knocking around Paris and knocking down germans. All the usual Archibald humor abounds.

A listing of all the Elmer Hubbard stories.

title	magazine	date	vol	no
1931
Elmer of The Air Core	Sky Birds	Sep	07	6
Local Boy Makes Good	Sky Birds	Oct	07	7
Paree—And Busted	Sky Birds	Nov	07	8
Nitwit’s Nest	Sky Birds	Dec	07	9
1932
Elmer Knows His Groceries	Sky Birds	Jan	07	10
Assault and Flattery	Sky Birds	Feb	07	11
Chute The Works	Sky Birds	Mar	07	12
Elmer and His Tin Fish	Sky Birds	Apr	10	1
School Daze	Sky Birds	Jun	10	2
Duck Soup For Elmer	Sky Birds	Aug	10	3
Hedgehopper’s Heaven	Sky Birds	Sep	10	4
I.O.U.—One Ace	Sky Birds	Oct	11	1
Stick With Me, Elmer	Sky Birds	Nov	11	2
Sadder, But Not Wiser	Sky Birds	Dec	11	3
1933
Cook’s Detour	Sky Birds	Jan	11	4
Good Night, Nurse	Sky birds	Feb	12	1
To The Highest Kidder	Sky Birds	Mar	12	2
Kilt In Action	Sky Birds	Apr	12	3
Bullet Spoof	Sky Birds	May	12	4
Scent By Air	Sky Birds	Jul	13`	1
A Spree De Corpse	Sky Birds	Aug	13	2
I Cover The Western Front	Sky Birds	Sep	13	3
Spark Pugs	Sky Birds	Oct	13	4
Ain’t We Got hun	Sky Birds	Nov	14	1
Page Mr. Handley	Sky Birds	Dec	14	2
1934
Channel Skimmers	Sky Birds	Jan	14	3
The Vanishing Americans	Sky Birds	Feb	14	4
Uneasy Marks	Sky Birds	Mar	15	1
Three Flights Up	Sky Birds	Apr	15	2
By Hook or Cook	Sky Birds	May	15	3
The Tusk Patrol	Sky Birds	Jun	15	4
Hokus Focus	Sky Birds	Jul	16	1
Stormy Petrol	Sky Birds	Aug	16	2
Spy Crust	Sky Birds	Sep	16	3
France Formation	Sky Birds	Oct	16	4
Fudge Fight	Sky Birds	Nov	17	1
Yankee Boodle	Sky Birds	Dec	17	2
1935
The Oily Bird	Sky Birds	jan	17	3
Observation Bust	Sky Birds	Feb	17	4
Red Herrs	Sky Birds	Mar	18	1
Crash and Carrie	Sky Birds	Apr	18	2
Heir Attack	Sky Birds	Jun	18	3
Shoe Flyers	Sky Birds	Jul	18	4
Zoom With Bath	Sky Birds	Aug	19	1
Stars and Tripes	Sky Birds	Sep	19	2
Slip Screams	Sky Birds	Dec	19	3

We present as a bonus, Joe Archibald’s first tale of Elmer Hubbard. Elmer writes his first letter to Pete back in Rumford Junction telling him all about his first days in France as a second lieutenant in the U.S. Air Force with Pokey Cook.

Elmer Hubbard, second looie in the U.S. Air Force, hadn’t done what he did, he’d have been just a gold star in the window of Perkins & Biggers, Tires and Accessories, Rumford Junction, Maine. But let Elmer tell it himself—and don’t ask us how it got passed by the censor!

• Download “Elmer of The Air Corpse” (September 1931, Sky Birds)

And check out these previously posted letters home from Elmer Hubbard of his exploits on the Western Front with Pokey Cook.

Duck Soup For Elmer

Rittmeister von Gluck was making things so tough on the tarmac where Elmer of the Air Corps parked his Spad that G.H.Q. threatened to move the whole drome back. But there was a very special reason why Elmer didn’t want that to happen—a reason named Gwendolyn. Now don’t get us wrong—Gwendolyn was no lady!

• Download “Duck Soup for Elmer” (August 1932, Sky Birds)

Channel Skimmers

There’s no stopping a pair of daring explorers like Elmer of the Air Corpse and Pokey Cook. This time they find themselves in England—but Pokey wants a bridge built across the Channel before he’ll go back. No stopping them? Well, not much!

• Download “Channel Skimmers” (January 1934, Sky Birds)

The Varnishing Americans

If you thought Elmer Hubbard and Pokey Cook were a couple of wild Indians before, just wait until you see them with their war paint and feathers on! Even C.O. Mulligan had to listen to their war whoops with a smile.

• Download “The Varnishing Americans” (February 1934, Sky Birds)

This month we’re celebrating the talents of that pulp stalwart—Joe Archibald. Archibald was not only a prolific author, but a decent artist as well illustrating many of his stories. His Phineas Pinkham tales from Flying Aces are an excellent example. So it’s no surprise that he had a past as a cartoonist working primarily with the McClure Syndicate.

During his time with McClure Syndicate, Joe Archibald produced a number of strips. We saw his “Champions Past and Present” from 1925 yesterday. Today we have a sports panel he produced that covered any topic related to sports under the sun—and they were varied.

Here are a few examples from February 1928 from the pages of the Lebanon Daily News, Lebanon Pensylvania.

This month we’re celebrating the talents of that pulp stalwart—Joe Archibald. Archibald wrote hundreds of stories for the pulps, both dramatic and humorous. His bread and butter it would seem was the humorous tale. He had long running series in several pulp titles. In the detective titles there was Alvin Hinkey, the harness bull Hawkshaw, in 10 Story Detective; Scoops & Snooty, the Evening Star’s dizzy duo, in Ten Detective Aces; and the President of the Hawkeye Detective Agency himself—Willie Klump in Popular Detective. While in the aviation titles he had Elmer Hubbard and Pokey Cook in Sky Birds; the one-two punch of Ambrose Hooley & Muley Spinks in The Lone Eagle, The American Eagle, Sky Fighters and War Birds; and last, but by no means least, the pride of Booneville—Phineas Pinkham in Flying Aces!

Joe Archibald’s Phineas Pinkham was the longest continuously running aviation character in the pulps. Running in the pages of Flying Aces from November 1930 until the magazine dropped it’s Fiction section in November 1943. In 151 stories, Pinkham bedevils the men of the 9th Pursuit Squadron, all the Hauptmanns and vons the Boche send his way and his hapless C.O. Major Rufus Garrity with his pranks, jokes and insane inventions that seem only to amuse Phineas.

Here is a checklist of his adventures:

title	magazine	date	vol	no
1930
Sneeze That Off	Flying Aces	Nov	6	6
1931
The Hardware Ace	Flying Aces	Feb	6	9
Rock-A-Bye Jerry	Flying Aces	Jun	9	1
Bargains For Blois	Flying Aces	Jul	9	2
Tell It To The King	Flying Aces	Aug	9	3
For Dear Old G.H.Q.	Flying Aces	Sep	9	4
Crazy Like a Fox	Flying Aces	Oct	9	5
Junkers—C.O.D.	Flying Aces	Nov	9	6
Please Omit Flowers	Flying Aces	Dec	9	7
1932
Half-Shot at Chaumont	Flying Aces	Jan	9	8
A Flyer In Tin	Flying Aces	Feb	11	1
Too Good for Hanging	Flying Aces	Mar	11	2
From Spad to Worse	Flying Aces	Apr	11	3
Pride of the Pinkhams	Flying Aces	May	11	4
No Money, No Flyee	Flying Aces	Jun	12	1
Herr Tonic	Flying Aces	Jul	12	2
Sky A LA Mode	Flying Aces	Aug	12	3
The Reel Hero	Flying Aces	Sep	12	4
The Bat’s Whiskers	Flying Aces	Oct	13	1
Good To The First Drop	Flying Aces	Nov	13	2
Shower Kraut	Flying Aces	Dec	13	3
1933
The Bull Flight	Flying Aces	Jan	13	4
Sleuthing Syrup	Flying Aces	Feb	14	1
Nothing But The Tooth	Flying Aces	Mar	14	2
The Fryin’ Dutchman	Flying Aces	Apr	14	3
The Grim Reaper	Flying Aces	May	14	4
Spin Feathers	Flying Aces	Jul	15	1
Take The Heir	Flying Aces	Aug	15	2
Stage Flight	Flying Aces	Sep	15	3
Herr Net	Flying Aces	Oct	15	4
Bomb Voyage	Flying Aces	Nov	16	1
The Frying Suit	Flying Aces	Dec	16	2
1934
Smell-Shocked	Flying Aces	Jan	16	3
String ‘Em Back Alive	Flying Aces	Feb	16	4
Hans Up	Flying Aces	Mar	17	1
Hose De Combat	Flying Aces	May	17	2
No Fuelin’	Flying Aces	Jun	17	3
Hunbugs	Flying Aces	Jul	17	4
Intelligence Pest	Flying Aces	Aug	18	1
Scrappy birthday	Flying Aces	Sep	18	2
Tattle Tailwinds	Flying Aces	Oct	18	3
Parlez Voodoo	Flying Aces	Nov	18	4
Good Haunting	Flying Aces	Dec	19	1
1935
An Itch In Time	Flying Aces	Jan	19	2
Crepe Hangers	Flying Aces	Feb	19	3
Horse Flyers	Flying Aces	Mar	19	4
Geese Monkeys	Flying Aces	Apr	20	1
Cinema bums	Flying Aces	May	20	2
Prop Eyes	Flying Aces	Jun	20	3
Rice and Shine	Flying Aces	Jul	20	4
Dog Flight	Flying Aces	Aug	21	1
Pfalz Teeth	Flying Aces	Sep	21	2
One Hun, One Hit, Three Errors	Flying Aces	Oct	21	3
Sea Gullible	Flying Aces	Nov	21	4
Fallen Archies	Flying Aces	Dec	22	1
1936
Spy Larking	Flying Aces	Jan	22	2
T.N.T. Party	Flying Aces	Feb	22	3
Doin’s In The Dunes	Flying Aces	Mar	22	4
The Batty Patrol	Flying Aces	Apr	23	1
Smells, Spells, And Shells	Flying Aces	May	23	2
Sky Finance	Flying Aces	Jun	23	3
Scratch-as-Scratch Can	Flying Aces	Jul	23	4
Blois, Blois, Blacksheep	Flying Aces	Aug	24	1
Fish and Gyps	Flying Aces	Sep	24	2
Watch Your Steppes	Flying Aces	Oct	24	3
C’est La Ear	Flying Aces	Nov	24	4
Scrappy Birthday	Flying Aces	Dec	25	1
1937
Flight Opera	Flying Aces	Jan	25	2
P.D.Q.—Boat	Flying Aces	Feb	25	3
Smoke Scream	Flying Aces	Mar	25	4
Poosh ‘Em Up, Pinkham	Flying Aces	Apr	26	1
Wrong About Face	Flying Aces	May	26	2
Bagger In Bagdad	Flying Aces	Jun	26	3
Spree With Lemon	Flying Aces	Jul	26	4
Swiss Wheeze	Flying Aces	Aug	27	1
Peck’s Spad Boys	Flying Aces	Sep	27	2
Scott Free-For-All	Flying Aces	Oct	27	3
Crash or Delivery	Flying Aces	Nov	27	4
Yankee Doodling	Flying Aces	Dec	28	1
1938
Flight Team Flight	Flying Aces	Jan	28	2
Cat’s Spad-Jamas	Flying Aces	Feb	28	3
Eclipse of The Hun	Flying Aces	Mar	28	4
Hoots and Headlights	Flying Aces	Apr	29	1
Kraut Fishing	Flying Aces	May	29	2
The Spider and The Flyer	Flying Aces	Jun	29	3
Zuyder Zee Zooming	Flying Aces	Jul	29	4
Tripe of Peace	Flying Aces	Aug	30	1
Cocarde Sharpers	Flying Aces	Sep	30	2
Heir-O-Bats	Flying Aces	Oct	30	3
Skyway Robbery	Flying Aces	Nov	30	4
Happy Hunning Ground	Flying Aces	Dec	31	1
1939
A Haunting We Will Go	Flying Aces	Jan	31	2
Don Patrol	Flying Aces	Feb	31	3
Kaiser Bilious	Flying Aces	Mar	31	4
Slaked Limeys	Flying Aces	Apr	32	1
Spin Money	Flying Aces	May	32	2
Flight Headed	Flying Aces	Jun	32	3
The Airy Ape	Flying Aces	Jul	32	4
Herr Dresser	Flying Aces	Aug	33	1
Duc Soup	Flying Aces	Sep	33	2
C’est La Goat	Flying Aces	Oct	33	3
Nippon Tuck	Flying Aces	Nov	33	4
Ye Ould Emerald Oil	Flying Aces	Dec	34	1
1940
Impropa Ganda	Flying Aces	Jan	34	2
Fright Leader	Flying Aces	Feb	34	3
Take It or Leafet	Flying Aces	Mar	34	4
Briny Deep Stuff	Flying Aces	Apr	35	1
Flight to the Finish	Flying Aces	May	35	2
Pharaoh and Warmer	Flying Aces	Jun	35	3
Dawn Parole	Flying Aces	Jul	35	4
Horse of Another Cocarde	Flying Aces	Aug	36	1
Air or Nautical	Flying Aces	Sep	36	2
The Foil Guy	Flying Aces	Oct	36	3
Bull Flight	Flying Aces	Nov	36	4
Leave La Frawnce	Flying Aces	Dec	37	1
1941
Crow de Guerre	Flying Aces	Jan	37	2
I Knew De Gaulle	Flying Aces	Feb	37	3
Daze In Dunkirk	Flying Aces	Mar	37	4
Zooming Zombies	Flying Aces	Apr	38	1
Dawn Petrol	Flying Aces	May	38	2
Jerry Prison Scamp	Flying Aces	Jun	38	3
The Eyes Have It	Flying Aces	Jul	38	4
Nieuport News	Flying Aces	Aug	39	1
Chuting Star	Flying Aces	Sep	39	2
Zoom Like It Hot	Flying Aces	Oct	39	3
Gleech of Promise	Flying Aces	Nov	39	4
Gas Me No Questions	Flying Aces	Dec	40	1
1942
Tanks For The Memory	Flying Aces	Jan	40	2
The Moor The Merrier	Flying Aces	Feb	40	3
Hot Francs	Flying Aces	Mar	40	4
Contact Bridge	Flying Aces	Apr	41	1
The Crate Impersonation	Flying Aces	May	41	2
Grim Ferry Tale	Flying Aces	Jun	41	3
Maltese Doublecross	Flying Aces	Jul	41	4
Spy and Ice Cream	Flying Aces	Aug	42	1
Air Screwball	Flying Aces	Sep	42	2
Glider Than Air	Flying Aces	Oct	42	3
Flight Headed	Flying Aces	Nov	42	4
Pot Luck	Flying Aces	Dec	43	1
1943
Heir Minded	Flying Aces	Jan	43	2
Chateau Theory	Flying Aces	Feb	43	3
Pinkham’s Pixies	Flying Aces	Mar	43	4
Laughing Gas Model	Flying Aces	Apr	44	1
Hide and Go Sheik	Flying Aces	May	44	2
Jappy Landing	Flying Aces	Jun	44	3
Three Aces Feast	Flying Aces	Jul	44	4
Italian Vamoose	Flying Aces	Aug	45	1
Czech Mates	Flying Aces	Sep	45	2
Gamboling With Goebbels	Flying Aces	Oct	45	3
Sounds Vichy	Flying Aces	Nov	45	4

“Haw-w-w-w-w!” As a bonus, here’s Phineas Pinkham mirthquake from 1934. From the February number of Flying Aces Phineas goes to some inventive extremes to get a captured flyer back in “String ‘Em Back Alive!”

Major Garrity had an idea. It involved sending Phineas Pinkham back to training school in his stolen Fokker to teach rookies to fight. Phineas had an idea, too. It involved taking that stolen Fokker across the lines to teach the Mad Butcher not to fight. Lay your bets, gentlemen!

• Download “String ‘Em Back Alive” (February 1934, Flying Aces)

Editor’s Note: This story was posted a number of years ago, but this is an update PDF with Archibald’s illustrations included to add to the merriment!

“Haw-w-w-w-w!” You heard right! That marvel from Boonetown, Iowa is back and in hotter water than usual, but as is the case—what’s sauce for the goose is gravy for Phineas!

Trouble had been coming to Phineas in bunches, like bananas. At last, the Ninth Pursuit thought they had got him down. But don’t let that fool you. A Pinkham at bay is worse than an army of leopards with brass knuckles.

• Download “Geese Monkeys” (April 1935, Flying Aces)

“Haw-w-w-w-w!” That sound can only mean one thing—that Bachelor of Artifice, Knight of Calamity and an alumnus of Doctor Merlin’s Camelot College for Conjurors is back—Yes it’s the marvel from Boonetown, Iowa himself—Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham! It was a strange chain of circumstances that pulled Phineas Pinkham right out of France, towed him across the Channel, and finally deposited him in a very bucolic spot in Merrie England.

Yoicks! Tallyho and tantivy! Here is Phineas Carbuncle Pinkham riding to ‘ounds—believe it or not—in plane! But, as Phineas says, “It’s more fun to be the fox!”

• Download “Horse Flyers” (March 1935, Flying Aces)

“Haw-w-w-w-w!” That sound can only mean one thing—that Bachelor of Artifice, Knight of Calamity and an alumnus of Doctor Merlin’s Camelot College for Conjurors is back and this time the marvel from Boonetown faces a dilema—face a court martial or transfer to the Pallbearer Squadron—the most morose lot on the Western Front—to boost their morale as only a Pinkham can.

They thought Phineas could make anybody laugh—until they sent him to the Pallbearers’ drome, where even the birds sang death marches. Yes, it looked for once as if Phineas had met his match in that bunch of Crêpe Hangars!

• Download “Crêpe Hangars” (February 1935, Flying Aces)

“Haw-w-w-w-w!” You heard right! That marvel from Boonetown, Iowa is back and there is a spy in their midst—surely it’s not the latest recruit to the 9th Pursuit Squadron—Lt. Harold Bartholomew Cheeves, the one man on the base that truely gets Pinkham!

Haul out the solid ivory and strike off the International Crack-Brain Medal for Lieut. Harold Bartholomew Cheeves, newcomer with the Fighting 9th. For here’s a man who APPRECIATES Phineas! In fact, the more cockleburs he finds in his hash, the more he admires the Boonetown Barbarian.

• Download “Spy Larking” (January 1935, Flying Aces)

“Haw-w-w-w-w!” That sound can only mean one thing—that Bachelor of Artifice, Knight of Calamity and an alumnus of Doctor Merlin’s Camelot College for Conjurors is back to vex not only the Germans, but the Americans—the Ninth Pursuit Squadron in particular—as well. Yes it’s the marvel from Boonetown, Iowa himself—Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham!

Do you believe in ghosts? They asked that question of Major Garrity, and he said no, but he didn’t like ‘em. They asked Phineas Pinkham, and he said yes, and he liked ‘em. Here’s a ghost story guaranteed to make you laugh—not shudder.

• Download “Good Haunting!” (December 1934, Flying Aces)

“Haw-w-w-w-w!” You heard right! That marvel from Boonetown, Iowa is back! And if things aren’t rough enough for Major Rufus Garritty with Pinkham about—imagine the horror if there were two Pinkhams! Say it ain’t so!

You’re going to laugh at what happens in this story—but Major Garrity and the boys of the Ninth Pursuit didn’t crack a smile. One Phineas Pinkham was enough for them—and two of him were—too much!

• Download “Parlez Voodoo!” (November 1934, Flying Aces)

Even the lowly angle worm, according to the old maxim, will turn and put up its dukes when sorely beset. The lowly worms of this story, of course, are the buzzards of Major Rufus Garrity’s Ninth Pursuit Squadron. Their tormenter, Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham, born on April Fool’s day, cradled in conjury and reared in raillery, perhaps had never heard about the deceptiveness of the proverbial worm. A worm had never kicked back at the amazing, freckle-faced, buck-toothed pilot from Boonetown when he was attaching it to the end of a fishhook. Nevertheless, Phineas should have known that he who lives by the sword will sooner or later get a taste of cutlery.

Major Garrity had chased Phineas off the drome. The Royal Flying Corps buzzards had sworn a vendetta against him. And over in Germany, the wily Rittmeister von Schnoutz was scheming. Aside from these, Phineas didn’t have an enemy in the world!

• Download “Tattle Tailwind” (October 1934, Flying Aces)

“Haw-w-w-w-w!” That sound can only mean one thing—that Bachelor of Artifice, Knight of Calamity and an alumnus of Doctor Merlin’s Camelot College for Conjurors is back to vex not only the Germans, but the Americans—the Ninth Pursuit Squadron in particular—as well. Yes it’s the marvel from Boonetown, Iowa himself—Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham!

Phineas Pinkham was so pleased with his particular prisoner that he even offered him a cigar that wasn’t loaded. Yes, they call that fraternizing with the enemy!

• Download “Intelligence Pest” (August 1934, Flying Aces)

“Haw-w-w-w-w!” You heard right! That marvel from Boonetown, Iowa is back to square off against the Mad Butcher of the German Air Corps—Hauptmann Heinz, but not before getting even with the guys at the Ninth for all the razzing he’s been getting lately.

Wilson found a green snake in his bed. Bump Gillis had an unhappy visit from a snapping turtle. And Captain Howell sat up until three a.m. digging iron filings out of the soles of his feet. The boys had been picking on Phineas—and the Pinkham revenge had begun. No foolin’!

• Download “No Fuelin’!” (June 1934, Flying Aces)

“Haw-w-w-w-w!” You can almost hear his insane gaffaw echo through your skull while you read it. Yes, we’re back with another of Joe Archibald’s Phineas “Carbuncle” Pinkham mirthquakes to lighten your holidays. This time from the May 1934 issue of Flying Aces. As always, Phineas gets himself in a tight pickle and once again manages to get out of it and get the upper hand on the “Vons.”

Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham was in a sling. Oh, yes, we know that’s nothing new—but wait a minute. This time he’d dropped a couple of bombs right on the domes of the A.E.F. on his own side of the lines—and it didn’t look like an accident.

• Download “Hose de Combat” (May 1934, Flying Aces)

Haw-w-w-w! It’s another Phineas Pinkham howl. We present another humerous tale of Phileas Pinkham from the prolific pen of Joe Archibald. Pinkham appeared in almost every issue of Flying Aces from November 1930 through November 1943! As if Archibald didn’t have enough to do, he also supplied the artwork for the story.

It was a nice trip. It began with Phineas knocked out cold after a crack-up. It continued with a couple of doughboys loading him onto an ambulance bound for the hospital. And it ended with a couple of doughboys knocked out cold in an ambulance. What do you expect?

• Download “Hans Up!” (March 1934, Flying Aces)