“From Spad to Worse” by Joe Archibald
“HAW-W-W-W-W!” 
That sound can only mean one thing—that Bachelor of Artifice, Knight of Calamity and an alumnus of Doctor Merlin’s Camelot College for Conjurors is back to vex not only the Germans, but the Americans—the Ninth Pursuit Squadron in particular—as well. Yes it’s the marvel from Boonetown, Iowa himself—Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham!
Phineas Pinkham was ordered to take two weeks leave or else face not only the wraith of The Old Man, but a Court Martial to boot. The Boonetown jokester couldn’t and the inactivity and found a way to get back in the war and put an end to the Allies Drachen problem as well.
Two weeks’ leave and no Spad to fly anywhere in—what do you do in a case like that? Easy—just take a leaf from Phineas “Carbuncle” Pinkham’s book and go—
“Too Good for Hanging” by Joe Archibald
“HAW-W-W-W-W!” 
That sound can only mean one thing—that Bachelor of Artifice, Knight of Calamity and an alumnus of Doctor Merlin’s Camelot College for Conjurors is back to vex not only the Germans, but the Americans—the Ninth Pursuit Squadron in particular—as well. Yes it’s the marvel from Boonetown, Iowa himself—Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham!
When Phineas “Carbuncle” Pinkham cracked up a Spad, it stayed cracked! Yes, Major Garrity was right. If Phineas had been twins, the Allies would have, been in the hands of receivers!
“A Flyer in Tin” by Joe Archibald
“HAW-W-W-W-W!” 
That sound can only mean one thing—that Bachelor of Artifice, Knight of Calamity and an alumnus of Doctor Merlin’s Camelot College for Conjurors is back to vex not only the Germans, but the Americans—the Ninth Pursuit Squadron in particular—as well. Yes it’s the marvel from Boonetown, Iowa himself—Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham!
The Ninth was in the midst of a miserable mess. Everything tasted as if it had been sprayed with insect exterminator. Jerry had been making things very unpleasant all day. On the table in the operations room was a vitriolic message from G.H.Q. Major Garrity had not opened it. He knew what it contained. If he had read it, he probably would have killed Phineas Pinkham, and he needed every man, brainless or otherwise, in the party to come. They had been unable to spot the location of a gun battery that was wreaking havoc with every plane from every squadron in the area. They had dropped Bombs all over hell, but the battery was still doing its business.
The Limeys weren’t sending Phineas “Carbuncle” Pinkham any birthday cards, but he didn’t think they were mean enough to shoot at him—even in fun. And that wasn’t the only mistake Phineas made! Just consult Major Garrity!
“Half-Shot at Chaumont” by Joe Archibald
“HAW-W-W-W-W!” 
That sound can only mean one thing—that Bachelor of Artifice, Knight of Calamity and an alumnus of Doctor Merlin’s Camelot College for Conjurors is back to vex not only the Germans, but the Americans—the Ninth Pursuit Squadron in particular—as well. Yes it’s the marvel from Boonetown, Iowa himself—Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham!
Even though Phineas Pinkham’s been grounded and confined to the base, it goes without saying that he is the only witness that can exonerate the Old Man in a Court-Martial that stems from an altercation with Brigadier-General Wolfe at the Cafe of the Red Cow in Bar-le-Duc.
There was something pretty harsh in the U.S. Army regulations about a private impersonating an officer. But even Phineas “Carbuncle” Pinkham was bright enough to know that an officer couldn’t get busted for impersonating a private!
“Please Omit Flowers” by Joe Archibald
“HAW-W-W-W-W!” 
That sound can only mean one thing—that Bachelor of Artifice, Knight of Calamity and an alumnus of Doctor Merlin’s Camelot College for Conjurors is back to vex not only the Germans, but the Americans—the Ninth Pursuit Squadron in particular—as well. Yes it’s the marvel from Boonetown, Iowa himself—Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham!
With Mannheim gone, the morale of the Fokkers had waned a bit and, for the past few days, the Spads of the Ninth Pursuit Squadron had been enjoying the upper hand in the sky. But today something hit the tarmac with greater force than a Gotha egg. C flight came back tattered and bruised with some very bad news—Von Holke and his The Death’s-Head Squadron had moved in to the area! And they were looking for the pilot who had taken out Mannheim—Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham!
There was one thing von Holke, famous German ace, wanted more than anything else—to see Phineas “Carbuncle” Pinkham lowered into the ground in a long, black box. And Phineas would do—well, almost anything to oblige an enemy!
“Junkers–C.O.D.” by Joe Archibald
“HAW-W-W-W-W!” 
That sound can only mean one thing—that Bachelor of Artifice, Knight of Calamity and an alumnus of Doctor Merlin’s Camelot College for Conjurors is back to vex not only the Germans, but the Americans—the Ninth Pursuit Squadron in particular—as well. Yes it’s the marvel from Boonetown, Iowa himself—Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham!
For almost three weeks now the welfare of Butch McGinty had been a matter of great concern to the war birds of the Ninth Pursuit. For on the shoulders of this one hundred and seventy-five pound greaseball, once a prelim boxer in cauliflower alley across the pond, rested enough squadron pay to buy out every estaminet in Bar-le-Duc. In just two days Butch was going into the ring to battle Sergeant “ ’Arry Hingleside,” pride of the British Air Force and runner-up for the British light-heavyweight title. The problem—Butch’s training was under the guidance of one Phineas Pinkham! From the pages of the November 1931 Flying Aces, it’s Joe Archibald’s “Junkers—C.O.D.!”
King George offered five hundred pounds in good British currency to the peelot who brought down Mannheim, the famous German Ace. Oh well, business before pleasure had always been the motto of Phineas “Carbuncle” Pinkham.
“Crazy Like a Fox!” by Joe Archibald
“HAW-W-W-W-W!†
That sound can only mean one thing—that Bachelor of Artifice, Knight of Calamity and an alumnus of Doctor Merlin’s Camelot College for Conjurors is back to vex not only the Germans, but the Americans—the Ninth Pursuit Squadron in particular—as well. Yes it’s the marvel from Boonetown, Iowa himself—Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham!
For weeks and weeks these war birds had been as just so many guinea pigs with which to prove the worth of Phineas Pinkham’s bag of tricks. And for an equally long time they had prayed for emancipation via a well-aimed burst from a Spandau or the pressure of the Old Man’s iron fist. Be that, as it may, they had hoped in vain. The irrepressible Phineas had soared to great heights instead of having been taken for a nose dive. Now things looked very, very bright indeed for the harassed buzzards of the Ninth Pursuit. One could play fast and loose with the Frogs and the Limeys, but snapping at the august heels of a Yankee brass hat was something to crawl out of!
It was as tough as walking across No-Man’s-Land with a flare in each hand—that mission G.H.Q. gave to Phineas “Carbuncle†Pinkham. Oh, well, Phineas had to learn some time that he could fool with the Frogs and the Limeys and Mannheim’s staffel and get away with it—but Yankee Brass Hats were birds of another feather!
“For Dear Old G.H.Q.!” by Joe Archibald
“HAW-W-W-W-W!†
That sound can only mean one thing—that Bachelor of Artifice, Knight of Calamity and an alumnus of Doctor Merlin’s Camelot College for Conjurors is back to vex not only the Germans, but the Americans—the Ninth Pursuit Squadron in particular—as well. Yes it’s the marvel from Boonetown, Iowa himself—Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham!
Phineas starts a row with the neighboring French Nieuport squadron, but when the Old Man grounds the Boonetown buffoon indefinitely, Phineas Pinkham tries to set things right “For Dear Old G.H.Q.!” From the pages of the September 1931 Flying Aces.
From the mess hall came the sounds of contented sky birds. In the trees near the drome song birds trilled their gentle arias. And over the headquarters phone no curses had come from G.H.Q. for three days. Even Major Garrity, C.O., was fooled—he forgot that Phineas “Carbuncle†Pinkham was still a member of the Ninth Pursuit Squadron!
“Tell It to the King!” by Joe Archibald
“HAW-W-W-W-W!†
That sound can only mean one thing—that Bachelor of Artifice, Knight of Calamity and an alumnus of Doctor Merlin’s Camelot College for Conjurors is back to vex not only the Germans, but the Americans—the Ninth Pursuit Squadron in particular—as well. Yes it’s the marvel from Boonetown, Iowa himself—Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham!
Phineas is jumped by a couple Boche Fokkers and sent crashing into a tree all while a pair of British Bristols idly fly by watching, but not helping in the least. When Phineas tries to get to the bottom of the British flyers’ lack of assistance it could all blow up into a Royal Scandal! From the August 1931 Flying Aces, it’s Phineas Pinkham in Joe Archibald’s “Tell It to the King!”
It was all the fault of the Limeys that his Spad was smeared against the side of a tree and he himself looked like the target in a knife-throwing contest. And if you think he let the matter rest right there—well, you don’t know Phineas “Carbuncle†Pinkham!
“Bargains for Blois” by Joe Archibald
“HAW-W-W-W-W!†
That sound can only mean one thing—that Bachelor of Artifice, Knight of Calamity and an alumnus of Doctor Merlin’s Camelot College for Conjurors is back to vex not only the Germans, but the Americans—the Ninth Pursuit Squadron in particular—as well. Yes it’s the marvel from Boonetown, Iowa himself—Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham!
When Phineas’ joke on Colonel Guilfoyle gets the Old Man in trouble, he concocts an elaborate plan to try and get Garrity and the Ninth Pursuit Squadron off the hook. From the July 1931 Flying Aces, it’s Joe Archibald’s “Bargains fro Blois!”
It was a dastardly trick! On account of it, Colonel Guilfoyle, G.H.Q.’s weightiest chair-warmer, threatened to bust the Old Man. Somehow connected with it was the Old Man’s promise to make a spark plug-cleaner out of Phineas “Carbuncle” Pinkham. And we don’t blame either of them–do you?
“Rock-A-Bye Jerry” by Joe Archibald
“HAW-W-W-W-W!†
That sound can only mean one thing—that Bachelor of Artifice, Knight of Calamity and an alumnus of Doctor Merlin’s Camelot College for Conjurors is back to vex not only the Germans, but the Americans—the Ninth Pursuit Squadron in particular—as well. Yes it’s the marvel from Boonetown, Iowa himself—Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham!
The Jerries thought themselves lucky, when Lieutenant Phineas “Carbuncle†Pinkham crashed within their lines. But that was before they were acquainted with this ace of practical jokers. Poor Fritz!
“The Hardware Ace” by Joe Archibald
“HAW-W-W-W-W!†
That sound can only mean one thing—that Bachelor of Artifice, Knight of Calamity and an alumnus of Doctor Merlin’s Camelot College for Conjurors is back to vex not only the Germans, but the Americans—the Ninth Pursuit Squadron in particular—as well. Yes it’s the marvel from Boonetown, Iowa himself—Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham!
Following up on Phineas Carbuncle Pinkham’s introduction to the Ninth Pursuit Squadron and The Great Guerre, this month we have Pinkham’s second escapade from the February 1931 Flying Aces. Here, the Boonetown Ace inadvertently sparks a feud between the Ninth and their new neighbors—a French Squadron at Soirry Wood 20 ships and DeHavalind bombers would help them wreck Manheim’s Flying Circus and reclaim the air! Phineas turns to history for a lesson on how to win back the French when he puts on a little show as “The Hardware Ace!”
The C.O. should have known better. It was a friendly relations dinner for the new Frog squadron in that sector—and the Skipper let Phineas Carbuncle Pinkham come to the party!
“Sneeze That Off!” by Joe Archibald
“HAW-W-W-W-W!†
That sound can only mean one thing—that Bachelor of Artifice, Knight of Calamity and an alumnus of Doctor Merlin’s Camelot College for Conjurors is back to vex not only the Germans, but the Americans—the Ninth Pursuit Squadron in particular—as well. Yes it’s the marvel from Boonetown, Iowa himself—Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham!
We’re back to Pinkham’s exploits in The Great Guerre, but this time we’re going all the way back to the first appearance of Phineas Pinkham—to the day he first showed his homely mug at the Ninth Pursuit Squadron where they were being bedeviled by Baron von Kohl and his sky circus! From the November 1930 Flying Aces, it’s Joe Archibald’s “Sneeze That Off!” introducing Phineas Carbuncle Pinkham from Boonetown, Iowa!
He liked to play with rubber cigars, phony bombs, and sneeze powder—did Phineas Carbuncle Pinkham, that thorn in the flesh of the American Ninth Pursuit. Their only hope was that von Kohl, the German sky terror who never missed a man, would be a big help to them, after all!
“Don Patrol” by Joe Archibald
“HAW-W-W-W-W!†
That sound can only mean one thing—that Bachelor of Artifice, Knight of Calamity and an alumnus of Doctor Merlin’s Camelot College for Conjurors is back to vex not only the Germans, but the Americans—the Ninth Pursuit Squadron in particular—as well. Yes it’s the marvel from Boonetown, Iowa himself—Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham!
We’re back to Pinkham’s exploits in The Great Guerre where G-2 calls on Pinkham to go undercover in Spain to keep the Germans from getting their hands on the secret plans for the Alhambra and a foothold in France’s backdoor.
Down in the Kingdom of Alphonso, certain cagey Castilians had cooked up a Spanish omelet for the Allies—one which had a Kraut smell to it. And when the bad eggs that figured in it evaded all the Entente spies, the Democrat Generals were frantic. But the real action didn’t begin until Don Quixote Pinkhamo homed his way into the land of bull fights—and it didn’t stop until the terrible tempered Ferdinando horned him right out again.
“Trouble or Nothing” by Joe Archibald
WE’RE back with the last 
of the recently found Post War Pinkham stories that ran in the first few issues of Flying Models Magazine. It’s 2o years since the great guerre and Phineas is now running his own “Flying Carpet Airlines” whose motto is: “We Fly Anything, Anybody, Anywhere! The Sky Is The Limit!” He’s settled down in his old Boonetown, Iowa (not with Babbette) and has a son Elmer who is chief pilot at his airlines. His mechanic from the Ninth Pursuits, Casey, is chief grease monkey of the outfit.
“GROUND ALL FLIGHTS!” Phineas Pinkham has just purchased an army surplus L5 and is back in the air flying only to believe he has slipped back to the great guerre and a wayward army surplus barrage balloon now being used for advertising is a big WWI barrage balloon that needs bustin’! From the January 1948 issue of Flying Models, it’s Phineas Pinkham—older, but not necessarily any wiser—in Joe Archibald’s “Trouble or Nothing!”
With the CAA after his hide, the CAB out for his blood, and the FBI gunning for his practical joke business, Phineas Pinkham, the Bagdad, Ohio, wonder-man, could think of nothing better to do than violate every flight rule in the books by hunting rubber cows in the skies while dodging a flock of USAAF .50 caliber slugs!
