“HAW-W-W-W-W!” That sound can only mean one thing—that Bachelor of Artifice, Knight of Calamity and an alumnus of Doctor Merlin’s Camelot College for Conjurors is back to vex not only the Germans, but the Americans—the Ninth Pursuit Squadron in particular—as well. Yes it’s the marvel from Boonetown, Iowa himself—Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham!

What do you get the man who has everything? If you’re Herr Hauptmann von Spieler and you’re looking to please his Excellenz Kaiser Wilhelm, you go out and get him that one thing no one has been able to get—Lieutenant Phineas Pinkham! Just make sure you wrap it well!

Over in Kraut-land spirits were high. Flourish and fanfare heralded a super celebration in honor of the A-l Hohenzollern. And the first dish listed on The Great One’s menu was—”Phineas Pinkham on the Half-Spad.” But too many cuckoos spoil the hasenpfeffer, and though the meat is sweeter near the joint, the Vons hadn’t figured on double joints.

• Download “Scrappy Birthday” (December 1936, Flying Aces)